


On the edge

by axo_welp



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Gen, SHUSH, grian may be the person I throw all my trauma at, hermit!tommy, my bois b here, wooo trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-15 12:07:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28688403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/axo_welp/pseuds/axo_welp
Summary: Lmao I procrastinated this for a really long fucking time, but since a lot of things have changed I rewrote it in one session so it might be a shit oneshot but oh well-Discord: https://discord.gg/RCk3n7NW
Comments: 3
Kudos: 118





	On the edge

**Author's Note:**

> Lmao I procrastinated this for a really long fucking time, but since a lot of things have changed I rewrote it in one session so it might be a shit oneshot but oh well-  
> Discord: https://discord.gg/RCk3n7NW

Tommy was lost in the forest. It was all too much, it was all too much. He never shared his experience with anyone, he never thought to talk to someone seriously about his trauma, but right then it was all pouring down on him, war and anger and sadness and grief, and self hatred. He ran, not even trying to make a full cohesive thought. He didn’t know how far away he was, like he would care anyway. Like anyone would care anyways. Maybe Dream was right, maybe his lessons got through his thick skull, maybe his body felt like it was cracking, like shards of glass. It was all a blur around him, his eyes focusing only on escape. Escape to somewhere new, safer.

It occurred to him that he still had his sword on him, maybe he could escape. Maybe he could be gone.

The thoughts were barely whizzing by, but they were stronger than ever in his panic.

L’manberg was gone, but he wasn’t, the disgraces he had done still etched into his mind, the lessons that were taught in the most horrific manners stuck in his mind. Nobody would listen, Tubbo has his own problems, and Tommy was one of them.

He wasn’t who he wanted to be.

He ran from all his thoughts, but they stuck to him, and suddenly he was on the ground, but the ground was strange. The texture was concrete, black and yellow. Black and yellow mean the walls of L’manberg, they mean the place Tubbo was trapped in, the blocks were insufferable, and he tried to get away from them as quickly as possible.

He looked up, and saw that this was a path of some sort, being constructed by people who didn’t pay attention to him at all. Paths aren’t made out of concrete, they are made out of wood and shoveled dirt. What was this queer place?

Towering buildings were everywhere, he saw a diamond room in one of the places, he could admit it was magnificent, but it was all too much. Noise everywhere, the people didn’t care, or notice.

He was running away soon after, scared of what a strange place it was. In any other mindset, he would be curious, but right then he was wanting to die, not be ignored, or even worse, pitied in this horrible place. He was about to back out and just run back to the forest, but then there was the sound of someone landing on the floor. He assumed it was maybe a mob about to hurt him, but when he turned around, he stumbled back immediately.

There was a man wearing netherite and some strange winglike things he didn’t recognize, he only saw phil’s wings, but these were different. Another strange thing about the man were his eyes. They were giant, glossy eyes, staring right at him, the man looked inhuman.

”Yo, you okay? I’m Keralis, by the way!”

Tommy was confused at the man with the strange accent. He was going to run again, but the man seemed strong, and powerful. He was wearing a suit under the armor. Suits mean power, suits mean businessmen, they mean idols who hurt you. He froze, unable to move.

Keralis tilted his head, confused. “You want to come on in? You don’t sound like much of a talker, and you don’t seem to be wearing strong items.”

Tommy begged himself to yell, angrily, say a comeback, anything, but he said nothing. He guessed the man wanted him to follow him, so he shuffled quietly behind. He got inside, everything was so shiny, so... nice.The wealth that he had was immediately untrustworthy once again.

They went up into the room he had already seen, it hurt his eyes to look at all the diamonds. Diamonds mean strength, they mean greed in many cases he’s seen with them.

He sat down on the desk, and Keralis gives him a few carrots, but they were golden, it was a new item to Tommy, and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to eat.

Keralis seemed to be rambling on about whatever, his speech strange to Tommy.

“Should I call Shishwammy? He’d know what area you’re from, and get you back, unless you don’t want that. Brian didn’t want to go back to his area…” Tommy attempted to realize what he was saying. So he was thinking that there was this all powerful dude who could know who he was from, and another dude who didn’t want to go back to his area. What did he mean by areas? Who was Brian? So, “Shishwammy” was like Dream maybe? Was he cruel, was he good, was he bad? He still didn’t know what he thought about Dream, so he couldn’t possibly know about this admin guy.

Maybe he should punch the guy, he has power, and stuff, if he could mug him now he could get enough stuff to fet along then try to figure out how to get back and fucking kill everyone. Everyone betrayed him, maybe Tubbo was good, but nobody else.

Keralis stared expectantly, and after focusing back in, Tommy nodded, saying that maybe this owner guy could get him directed somewhere.

Keralis took out his communicator, and messaged Xisuma that he was going to his base for an important talk. X responded saying okay, and to meet him at the portal.

“Oh, I never asked your name, what is it?”

Tommy hesitated to say anything. Did he want another person to know him? He figured that the guy who would know where he was from would know anyways, and he didn’t want to make an owner angry.

”I’m Tommy… Tommyinnit.”

Keralis smiled widely. “Okay Tomathy, let’s get you to Shishwammy’s house, get on my back and we’ll fly.”

Tommy felt a large shiver down wis spine. Tomathy. Tomathy. TOMATHY. Only Dream called him Tomathy, and Dream hurt him, taught him, made him the way he is. But Tommy was good at stuff. But still, only Dream can call him that.

”Can you… not fuckin call me that?” Tommy mumbled out.

“Mhmm, Toms.” Tommy exhaled. This person seemed to be nice. Keralis spread the insect-like wings, and asked Tommy to get his back. Keralis dully noted without speaking, that Tommy was strangely light.

As Keralis shot his first firework to get of the ground, Tommy almost fell off of Keralis's back fireworks. They kill people and are pretty, that’s all they’re used for, but Keralis barely got Tommy balanced on there, and the frail boy attached himself to the Polish man, and Tommy tried to ignore the sounds of the fireworks and tried hard not to picture the bloody body of Tubbo, his guts pouring out, as the small boy coughed out blood in the final moments of his second death. The sounds of the fireworks haunted him, but he focused on the breeze.

it was a great thing that X lived so near, so they got to the portal build in a matter of minutes, even while flying especially slowly. As he landed softly on the ground, Tommy stumbled off of Keralis, and stared at the figure in front of him. It was a man in a metallic suit of some sort. It confused Tommy, because he also had a normal netherite armor set on as well. Netherite was normal here? There were shulkers here as well, strange place it seemed.

“Keralis! Who is this kid? He seems a bit shaken up, what is your name?”

”I’m Tommy… innit.”

“Okay Tommy, can I scan your communicator to see where you’re from?”

Tommy looked at his communicator attached to his arm. It was very modded and most likely semi busted, but he offered it out, and Xisuma took the arm, and put in a small chip sensing device. It felt strange. After actually focusing on X, he realized that it was a bee costume, and almost flinched. He knew to never flinch, never show weakness.

”So it says you’re from a political server called the “Dream SMP?” Who’s the owner?”

“Dream? It’s named the Dream SMP, it wouldn’t be called that for nothing, bitch.

Xisuma froze. Mumbled for a moment, and then said he’d be right back to check something.

He brought back a small book written in strange characters he was sure ghostbur would be interested in. As X paged through the book, his eyebrows furrowed, knitting together. Finally he spoke. “I’m not taking you back to whatever hellscape that place must be.”

Tommy looked up, confused. Sure, bad things happened on it, and Dream was most always the person who caused the wars and such, but what scared him about Dream so much? He was about to ask, but he saw that X was typing in his communicator, concentratedly typing. Keralis sat on one of the steps, uncomfortably staring off somewhere else.

Tommy just messed with the strings on his shirt waiting for what happened next. This new place was a jungle, a place Tommy didn’t have much of an association to go by, and the tall buildings around him had a strange, bouncy look to them. 

“Can I go in one of your buildings?” He asked, not even thinking. X was startled by the question, but agreed, not really fully paying attention to him. Keralis gabbed onto Tommy’s arm, pulling himself up, but almost made the boy fall over in the process. 

“Oh I’m so so sorry Toma- Tom.” Keralis apologized profusely. Tommy immediatle quietly said it was fine, and he got on Keralis’s back again. 

A thought struck him. _It almost felt like an act Techno would do to help Tommy_. He clung onto Keralis more, which made Keralis surprised, and he almost messed up his landing onto the chest room. 

“Don’t squeeze me, I almost failed getting in here.” Tommy was not even paying attention anymore, he looked through chests, then he saw one chest full of Phantom Membranes.

”How did he get all this illegal stuff?” Tommy said, staring at the Membranes, and he saw a chest full of Idols, you could only get those in mansions, how did he even get so many? _He must’ve duped._

”What do you mean? None of this stuff is illegal, what world do you live in?” 

“Shish-whatever the fuck you call him already said, the Dream SMP, and he seems scared of where I live and who I am, so why aren’t you?” Tommy asked. Keralis was stunned. Tommy just cussed, but it wasn’t angry or anything, he almost seemed calm, like he cursed in every day sentences. He decided to ignore the thought.

”I mean, I don’t know Dream, and I don’t know you, so I can’t judge.”

Tommy furrowed his brows. “That doesn’t answer my question.”

Keralis patted Tommy’s head, to the annoyed grumble of the boy himself. “In Hermitcraft, we’re all sorta outcasts here, we all have known each other for 8 years at most. Some people came, some left, Brian is coming now, we only have known for about 2 years, but we all trust him with our lives.”

That made Tommy think. He last trusted Techno, but he betrayed him, and Ranboo had bad memory, he was untrustworthy. He didn’t tryst people, but he would spend his life for them. “I don’t trust people, but my life is worth less than theirs.”

”I think my life is worth just as much as my friends, but I would sacrifice myself as a sign of friendship, not worth.” Keralis says, worry in his eyes. It sounded like the boy had been through a lot. 

Keralis was gently patting Tommy’s head, which Tommy started to lean into a bit, when they heard large wings flapping and gliding outside. Tommy shuddered, looking around, trying to find Phil. Tommy grabbed a water bucked and jumped down the tower, mlg-ing, which scared Keralis before he saw him land. Keralis just glided down, not wanting to get himself hurt.

There was a small flapping of wings, but then, suddenly, a short man with floppy dirty blond hair and wings that seemed way too big for his body landed in front of them.

Tommy stopped moving after he came. “Hey Grian, we don’t know much about our new guy over here, could you take him in for a bit, you know, get him settled in incase he needs to stay for a while? Oh, and Tommy, do you want me to change your communicator to the hermit chat or stiff stay on the Dream smp chat?”

”I want to know if my friends are okay, so not fucking yet at the very least.”

”Anyways, Grian you can house Tommy for now, I think you two would fit together well.” Tommy didn’t know what X meant by that.

He ignored it, he couldn’t afford to be suspicious of anything, he didn’t know what they could possibly have up their sleeves.

“Okay! So how did Tommy get here, anyways?” Grian inquired.

”That’s the thing, we have no idea how he got there, maybe you two could break the ice a bit.” Grian grinned, it looked strange to Tommy, the small man had a few scars on his face and arms but seemed to be happy.

Grian excitedly grabbed Tommy’s arm, a tingle ran up Tommy’s body as he was pulled along, into the nether. A wave of heat crashed down, like always once they entered through the portal, and Grian produced a boat to ride on the long stretches of ice roads on tunnels. The drive was quiet and relatively serine, then they went to walk the small bit that still didn’t have a road, or tunnel. 

They walked along the small area, and Gri noticed Tommy looking strangely at the lava. A thought occurred to him that hadn’t occurred in a long time, at least not at the daytime. One simple thought. “Taurtis.” yhs. kov. Death. Pretending to be Taur. Then the thoughts flooded in, and Grian forcefully grabbed Tommy’s arm, and pulled him along the rest of the way. 

Tommy noticed the shift of the personality, the darkened eyes behind his glasses, the strange stiff body language. Tommy didn’t say anything, and felt horrible for even looking at the lava.

Once they got to home, the giant mansion, they started to converse a bit more. ”So, Tommy, do you need a base or…?” 

Tommy seemed already to make his own home inside one of the walls of the mansion. “Burying inside someone’s house is great and all, but what if I gave you the secret base I have snuck into Scar’s place?” Grian excitedly said, realizing there may be another gremlin troublemaker on the server.

Tommy thought. “So you’re asking _me_ , to hide in _someone else’s base_ , without their allowance? And I don’t know them?” Grian nodded mischievously.

”Fuck yeah! Am I allowed to steal?” Grian thought. It would be funny, yes, and bdubs said he messed up because he was a “new employee.” Maybe the child could use that excuse, saying he was new.

”Yeah sure, as long as it won’t set a person back, and it’s easy to replace, we don’t want another civil war.” Tommy tilted his head.

”I thought this was a peaceful server?” Grian could almost laugh. Hell no, this place was full of pranks, stealing and stuff, but it kept friendly boundaries and nobody actually hurt the other’s feelings. This was explained to Tommy.

”So you guys have wars for the fun of it, and not to free countries from the grasps of tyranny and not with malicious intent?” Tommy asked, slightly embarrassed.

Grian giggled, secretly feeling horrible for the boy and not knowing what happened. “Yeah, basically. We can set that up tomorrow if you want, I’m gonna work on building a farm upstairs, if you want to watch me fail at it come along, otherwise just get settled in for today.”

”I mean I have nothing, I can help too-“ Tommy said, maybe getting on Grian’s side would be a good idea.

”Do you know how to redstone?” Grian inquired, maybe he was the strategist of his server.

”Oh fuck no! Redstone is for pussies, but I’m guessing this is necessary, so-“ Tommy said, realizing _oh wait I probably shouldn’t be offending people on my first day-_ so he quieted down. 

“Agreed, but if you ever say that to Mumbo, he’d kill you immediately-“ Grian said, not really thinking about how Tommy wouldn’t know anyone. 

“Who is Mumbo, and Scar? Can you explain all the people here?” Confusion seeped through his body, it was all so new, X was scared of Dream, did that mean he was well known, or had powers? What were the moral codes of this place? How could he fit in with all these _good_ people?

”I don’t know how to explain them easily, they’re all different, they have their own interests and quirks, I’ll introduce you to at least Mumbo tomorrow.” Grian agreed, and they went off to try to build the farm.

After only ten minutes they got into an argument about if shoelaces were good for the economy. Hours later they were both exhausted and they made no progress on the flower farm, except for the capsules. 

It was a pretty useless day in terms of the grind, but it was starting to look up for Tommy.

He finally checked his communicator, he hadn’t the whole day. It was spammed with laughs at first, strange messages, then Tubbo asked where Tommy was. Even Dream said he didn’t know, not Techno, nobody. Everyone sounded like they thought maybe Dream had killed the boy off, and people were pissed and scared in chat.

He typed a small message in:

“you guys will never guess where I am rn” then closed the communicator. He felt it buzz, but he instead intended on working on the farm while Grian slept. He might as well be helping the bread man after he distracted him the whole day.

Late into the night, while Tommy was stuck on how dispensers worked, he heard Grian shifting a lot in his bed. He went to see if he was okay, and saw him whispering scared nonsense. 

As he slowly approached Grian, he intended to wake Gri up from his nightmare. He heard whimpers, saying things like ‘no’, ‘I’m out of this’, ‘I’d rather die than this’, ‘why me’ and more. He tapped on Grian’s shoulder. Grian burst up, eyes still closed. “LET GO OF ME OLGA!” Grian exclaimed, and his eyes were open, tears forming. For a moment G was scared of Tommy. Then he realized he was in bed, barely acknowledged Tommy, and used his communicator, messaging someone. His eyes had no sparkle, they seemed embarrassed, but also holding a dark aura to them.

Tommy wanted to say something, comfort him, but couldn’t find any word that would help. He didn’t know context, he couldn’t help. The only person he’s ever needed to comfort has been Tubbo, and at low points, Wil. 

” _Please, go to bed, Tommy._ ” Grian said, shaking slightly in his covers. Grian’s wings were curling into him, as if a form of protection from his own mind.

Tommy took his leave, and went back upstairs, but all the knowledge that he had earlier about making flower farms was lost on him. He heard a person come in, so he looked in. There was a tall, pale man with black, slicked back hair, eyes that looked like he hadn’t slept in a long time, and a bushy mustache. Despite the sharp suit and the specks of redstone Tommy oh-so-hated, the man seemed to have a quiet and kind demeanor. His stature was surprisingly soft, as he walked through the mansion. 

Murmurs of kindness drifted through the mansion. Complements, rants and reassurances, came and went. The man went upstairs, Tommy guessed Grian had told him about a worry that was with the boy. Maybe it was his fault that Grian had a nightmare, after all, because he did reckless things. In the main area, Mumbo sat next to Tommy. It was quiet for a few moments.

”Well what do you want to say, bitch?” Tommy said after a few moments. Tommy saw the smallest flinch.

"Sorry you had to see Grian in that light. It isn’t your fault.” Mumbo said.

”Oh, don’t worry, a lot of the people in my server do that too, nightmares, flashbacks, all the shit. But I think it is my fault, I may have triggered him somehow.” Mumbo tilted his head, eyes full of worry.

”What do you mean, many do that on your server? Can you explain?”

”Oh. Well it all starts with two discs, and my best friend…”


End file.
